At this moment the only thing that comes to mind when I think about turning 30 is “fuck…am I really 30?” It doesn’t seem possible… just not yet. I’m too young, aren’t I? I mean, by 30 my parents were married, owned a home, and had their first child on the way. 

Up until now, most of my twenties felt similar. From 24 to 25, 26 and 27… there really wasn’t much of a difference. People tend to ask “So, do you feel __ age”, and for me, it really does always feel like just a number. Turning another year older doesn’t bother me, but it does have me thinking about how crazy time is… and how fast it goes.

You hear it all your life. From your grandparents, your parents, friends… even from perfect strangers on the street. Time, or its lack thereof, becomes a common topic like chatting about weather patterns. We’re constantly watching the clock (is it the weekend yet?), counting down the days until a special trip, planning life events (getting married, having kids), packing in new projects and meetings day after day, meal prepping to save time or training harder to shave minutes off a run… point being, our culture is obsessed with time.

But, what is the value of time, and how do you really measure it? Is it that we’re fearful time is running out? Do we attach ourselves to the clock in order to find our purpose? What drives us to obsess over it?

Grey Hair Don’t Care

Getting older doesn’t scare me. I mean, the grey hairs (like wtf, sprouted overnight), wrinkles (I now get why people get botox) and aches from sitting 12 hours a day are a bit startling…but actually turning another year older, I’m ok with. If there was anything that bothers me or makes me reflect on age, it would be the feeling of being content. And maybe this feeling really never goes away for some of us, or if it does, it happens at different stages in our lives. For now, I feel that at 30 years old, I’m not ready to sit back and relax just yet.

For my readers that are over the age of 40, you’re probably thinking “you’re still so young, just enjoy.” And you’re 100% right. There is so much more life to live! And I believe this now more than ever.

When I think of heading into my thirties, and the fact that I’ve been alive for 3 decades (you know, just 10,950 days!), it’s funny to think back through time. The first 10 years of life, ahh the good ol’ kickball days. Getting my first sports bra, shopping at Limited Too (if you know, you know.) Days were spent riding bikes until the street lights came on.

The next 10 years were impressionable. From “becoming a woman”, to learning how to drive, and applying for college, these years used to feel so recent and important, and they were by far very influential years. Looking back, and thinking about my routine, and lifestyle during this time slowly seems further and further away, like a true lifetime ago.

My Twenties

The fact that I’m even reflecting on my “twenties” is mindblowing. A part of me thinks I’m not old enough… where did 25-29 go?! When I really self-reflect, I think if I have any qualms with turning 30 it’s this: I worry that I spent so much of my twenties trying to get it right, I’m fearful that I didn’t spend enough time “living” to enjoy it.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to make it seem like I didn’t have amazing experiences and opportunities in my twenties, because of course, I did. And not for a second do I take any of it for granted. Thinking back over the past 10 years there is a lot I’m proud of…

I’ve traveled to 8 countries, moved to a new city by myself, started a blog, built a successful business, fell in love – and then moved in together, bought my first car – then sold it, became a fur-mom (my childhood dream of owning a GSD of my own), became an auntie to 4 amazing kiddos, experienced my best friends finding love and getting married, became debt free, assisted in the research, writing and publishing of 3 books – one became a New York Times Best Seller – I’m sure there is more to note, but you get the picture. I have a lot to be proud of, and thankful for. And the truth is, we all do.

Change is good

I can preach it all day long that we should be proud of our individual journey. That each of us is a badass in our own way, and that we should have gratitude for the life and opportunities we experience. I do firmly believe this, but yet when I think about turning 30…not about what I did or accomplished thus far, but how I feel, I feel an urgency to change my focus, and to start truly finding joy and enjoyment in my everyday. To stop stressing, to find balance, and to be present.

Early on in my twenties, I took a lot of risks, but somewhere along the way, mainly in the last 5 years, I feel that I’ve become…comfortable. And maybe I’m thinking about this all wrong, and this is a challenge in itself: to be okay with feeling settled, and comfortable. However, deep down I’ve always thrived off of taking chances and enforcing change. Pushing myself beyond my comfort zone brought me joy and empowerment. 

For the last 5 years, I feel like I’ve become a spokesperson for the saying: “All work and no play makes Jamie a dull girl.” On paper, this isn’t true, but in my mind and heart, I’ve been so dedicated to putting in the work I feel that I’ve lost sight of what makes me tick. Don’t get out the violins just yet, I want to reiterate this isn’t about being sad, depressed or unhappy. Sure, at some point in time, yes we all have those feelings, because hey, we’re only human. My point is, it’s more about living each day with a purpose or a spark that you have inside your soul. Pursuing life in a way that makes you feel alive.

Goals for the next decade

As I think about my 30’s, and what I want the theme or takeaways to be for this next decade, I want to challenge myself to continue to grow. To work on my definition of living a prosperous life. I want to focus more on living a life rooted in joy, gratitude, and celebration. I want to redefine my priorities and focus only on what matters to me the most. The things that actually provide meaning and purpose.

People say time is life’s most precious commodity, that it stands still for no one. But is time really what’s most important? I think I’d rather live by the other saying, “time flys when you’re having fun.”  The truth is if you’re truly enjoying yourself, filling your bucket with experiences, relationships and “things” (not materials) that provide value… and living on your terms, who the fuck cares about time or how old you are. You’re living and that’s what is most important.